Monthly Archives: January 2014

Jan22

20 Things That Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

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In my never-ending quest for positivity and motivation, I came across the following post and had a moment of confirmation. I hope that the message will do the same for you. #preachingtothechoir

Mental Strength

I often write about the things I believe we all should be doing, trying or experimenting with in order to maximize our success and happiness. However, it’s not always the things we do that make the biggest difference in our lives; it’s often the things we avoid doing that have the biggest effect. As human beings, we have a strong aversion to not doing; we feel that in order to produce results, there must be an initial action.

However, because we are almost always doing something, piling on more and more often has a negative effect, rather than a positive one. Among the mentally strong, there are several actions that are avoided in order to produce the greatest benefit in the shortest period of time. These actions are those that the mentally strong avoid, and that we should consider adapting as our own:

1. Dwelling On The Past
Mentally strong individuals focus on the present moment and on the near future. They understand that the past is out of our control and the far future is about as predictable as the weather this winter.
2. Remaining In Their Comfort Zone
The comfort zone is a dangerous place, a dark abyss where anyone who remains there for too long loses his or herself entirely. Staying within your comfort zone is giving up on life.
3. Not Listening To The Opinions Of Others
Only the foolish believe themselves to be sufficient in all regards. When it comes to brainstorming, ideas can’t so much be forced as they can be caught. A good idea is a good idea, regardless of whether or not you came up with it. Don’t let your ego get the better of you; if someone has great advice to give, take it.
4. Avoiding Change
What the mentally strong understand that the mentally weak do not is that change is unavoidable. Trying to avoid the inevitable is pointless. Therefore, trying to avoid change is pointless; it’s a mere waste of time and energy.
5. Keeping A Closed Mind
You don’t know everything. Even the things you believe yourself to know are likely to not be entirely true. If you keep a closed mind, you are preventing yourself from learning new material. If you stop learning, you stop living.
6. Letting Others Make Decisions For Them
Only you should be making your own decisions; you can’t allow others to make them for you. All this does is shift the responsibility from you to someone else, but the only person failing in the end is you. If you don’t have the courage to fail, then you don’t have the courage to succeed.
7. Getting Jealous Over The Successes Of Others
When others succeed, you should be happy. If they can do it, so can you. The success of others does not, in any way, lessen the chances of you succeeding. If anything, it should motivate you to keep pushing forward.
8. Thinking About The High Possibility Of Failure
Our thoughts control our perspective; our perspective controls our results. The mentally strong understand this and use this to their advantage. There’s always the chance you may fail, but as long as there is the chance you may succeed, it’s worth trying.
9. Feeling Sorry For Themselves
Sh*t happens. Life can be hard. People get hurt; others die. Life isn’t all roses and butterflies. You will fall off that horse again and again and again. The question is, are you strong enough to keep getting back on it?
10. Focusing On Their Weaknesses
Although working on our weaknesses does have its benefits, it’s more important to focus on banking on our strengths. The most well-rounded person is not the person that gets the furthest in life. Being average in all regards makes you average. However, mastering a certain skillset or trait will allow you to beat the competition with less effort.
11. Trying To Please People
A job well done is a job well done, no matter who is judging the final product. You can’t please everybody, but you can always manage to do your very best.
12. Blaming Themselves For Things Outside Their Control
The mentally strong know the things they can control, understand the things they cannot control, and avoid even thinking about that which is completely out of their hands.
13. Being Impatient
Patience isn’t just a virtue; it is the virtue. Most people don’t fail because they aren’t good enough, or aren’t capable of winning or succeeding. Most people fail because they are impatient and give up before their time has come.
14. Being Misunderstood
Communication is key in any properly functioning system. When it comes to people, things get a bit more complicated. Simply stating information is never enough; if the receiving party misunderstands you, your message is not being properly relayed. The mentally strong do their best to be understood and have the patience to clear up misunderstandings.
15. Feeling Like You’re Owed
You aren’t owed anything in life. You were born; the rest is up to you. Life doesn’t owe you anything. Others don’t owe you anything. If you want something in life, you only owe it to yourself to go out and get it. In life, there are no handouts.
16. Repeating Mistakes
Make a mistake once, okay. Make a mistake twice… not so okay. Make the same mistake a third time, you may need to consider giving up alcohol and drugs. You’re either stupid or permanently high.
17. Giving Into Their Fears
The world can be a scary place. Some things frighten us with good cause, but most of our fears are illogical. If you know that you want to try something, try it. If you’re scared, then understand that being scared of failing must mean that succeeding means a whole lot to you.
18. Acting Without Calculating
The mentally strong know better than to act before completely understanding the situation at hand. If you have time to ponder over something and cover all your bases, then do so. Not doing so is pure laziness.
19. Refusing Help From Others
You’re not Superman; you can’t do it all. Even if you can, why should you? If others are offering to help, let them help. Be social. Listen to their ideas and watch how they do things. You may learn something. If not, then you can teach them something and do what humans are meant to do: socialize.
20. Throwing In The Towel
The biggest weakness in all of humanity is giving up — calling it quits, throwing in the towel. The mentally strong go about things in such a way. Only do things if they are important to you; forget the things that aren’t important to you. If they’re important to you, then pursue them until you succeed. No exceptions, ever.

Credit: PAUL HUDSON • JAN 9, 2014

Jan21

Chocolate Brigadeiros from Brazil

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Brigadeiros, or chocolate bon bons, were created in Brazil in the 1940s to support a candidate’s campaign who was running for President. This no-bake gooey, chocolate-y, caramel-y treat is super delicious!

Brigadeiros from Brazil 2

Prep Time: 45 min Total Time: 1 hr 30 min Servings: 40

Ingredients

2 cans (14 oz each) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated)
1/4 cup unsweetened baking cocoa
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2 cup chopped pistachio nuts
1/3 cup chopped sliced almonds
1/3 cup shredded coconut
1/3 cup chocolate candy sprinkles
1/3 cup colored candy sprinkles

Directions

1) Grease large shallow pan or platter with butter. In 4-quart nonstick heavy saucepan, heat condensed milk, cocoa and 2 tablespoons butter to boiling, stirring constantly with wooden spoon. Reduce heat to medium-low; cook 10 to 15 minutes, stirring constantly, until mixture is thick and shiny and starts to pull away from bottom and side of saucepan when pan is tilted. Pour mixture into shallow pan; cool completely (refrigerate to firm up faster).

2) Place remaining ingredients in separate small bowls. Use teaspoon or melon baller to scoop truffle mixture, then use greased hands to shape into 1- to 1 1/2-inch balls. Roll each ball in pistachios, almonds, coconut or sprinkles. Place in mini paper baking cups.
3Store tightly covered at room temperature up to 2 days or in the refrigerator up to 1 week.

Tips
To make rolling the balls easier, chill the truffle mixture in the refrigerator until firm before scooping and rolling it. Toast the almonds and/or pistachios, if desired, before rolling the truffles. Put a variety of truffles in small gift boxes for friends and family.

Jan20

The Real Problem with Black America

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You can agree or disagree, but I wanted to reblog this post from a fellow blogger. He makes valid points about the festivities of the MLK Holiday, which I agree are important to preserving the history and sacrifice of the Civil Rights Movement and Dr. King’s legacy. But I am not sure that we are on the best course to eradicate many of the issues that plague our communities.

Jan20

Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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From one dreamer to another… Thank you for your sacrifice.

MLK Day 6

MLK Day 4

Jan17

E&B World Music Showcase -Nina Simone

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As most of my readers know by now, TenaciousM cannot be edited. What I like, I love and that includes people, art, chocolate and music. So I’ve decided to get a conversation going around some of the amazing music from around the world. Please feel free to share your thoughts and/or submissions for repost or shout out here at Egos & Buffaloes.

If I’m going to do my blog justice, I have to start with Ms. Nina Simone. Her musical influence reached worldwide audiences. When my parents used to listened to her I thought she must be the saddest woman in the world. But I realize now that Nina was soulful like no other. Nina Simone accomplished global appeal during a time when the fires of civil rights and women’s rights movements were just being stoked.

Nina Simone (born Eunice Kathleen Waymon; February 21, 1933 – April 21, 2003) was an American singer, songwriter, pianist, arranger, and civil rights activist widely associated with jazz music. Simone aspired to become a classical pianist while working in a broad range of styles including classical, jazz, blues, folk, R&B, gospel, and pop.

Born the sixth child of a preacher’s family in North Carolina, Simone aspired to be a concert pianist. Her musical path changed direction after she was denied a scholarship to the prestigious Curtis Institute of Music in Philadelphia, despite a well-received audition. Simone was later told by someone working at Curtis that she was rejected because she was black. When she began playing in a small club in Philadelphia to fund her continuing musical education and become a classical pianist she was required to sing as well. She was approached for a recording by Bethlehem Records, and her rendering of “I Loves You, Porgy” was a hit in the United States in 1958. Over the length of her career Simone recorded more than 40 albums, mostly between 1958—when she made her debut with Little Girl Blue—and 1974.

Between 1974-2003, Simone stayed in Barbados for quite some time. A close friend, singer Miriam Makeba, then persuaded her to go to Liberia. Later, she lived in Switzerland and the Netherlands, before settling in France in 1992. Credit: Wikipedia

Nina Simone’s relevance is still visible today. She wrote “Four Women”, a song about four different stereotypes of African-American women, and included the recording on her 1966 album, “Wild Is the Wind”. The following rendition of the song is performed by Ledisi, Jill Scott, Kelly Price, & Marsha Ambrosius during “Black Girls Rock” in 2010.

Jan17

Owning Leadership

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Black Female Super Heros 5

As I’m sure that many of you can relate, I’ve had some awful managers over my career. It wasn’t until I became a manager that the definition of good vs bad leader became an acutely sensitive topic for me. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to suck at being a leader. And, it was at the point of questioning the difference that I realized I was still being influenced by my bad experiences with those hideously awful managers. I was experiencing a sort of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that made me run like hell from the next leadership role.

Even with the glaring “DO NOT DRAFT ME AS A LEADER” badge that I wear over my business suits, I continually find myself a habitual leader. Then, in my quest for clarity and self-realization, I found this quote and finally, finally, I get it. I understand why I actually am perfect for the role.

“Leadership is not so much about technique and methods as it is about opening the heart. Leadership is about inspiration— of oneself and of others. Great leadership is about human experiences, not processes. Leadership is not a formula or a program, it is a human activity that comes from the heart and considers the hearts of others. It is an attitude, not a routine.” -Lance Secreten

Jan16

South African Chocolate Crunchies

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Africa produces around 70% of all cocoa beans so no wonder chocolate is popular here. Try this authentic South African Chocolate Crunchies recipe to bring a bit of culture and sweetness to your home!

South African Chocolate CrunchiesSouth African Chocolate Crunchies 2

Prep time › 10 mins
Cook time › 20 mins
Serves › 24 squares

Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 cup oats
1 cup coconut
1/2 cup sugar
2 tbsp cocoa
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup margarine
2 tbsp syrup
1 tsp baking soda

Ingredients for Icing:
1 cup icing sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 tsp milk

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
2. Mix all the dry ingredients for the crunchies, except for the baking soda.
3. Melt the butter and syrup together. Mix in the baking soda.
4. Combine the dry and wet ingredients, mix well.
5. Press into a medium sized greased baking pan, about 10 by 8 inches. Use the back of a spoon to press the mixture together and smooth the top.
6. Bake for 20 minutes at 350 F.
7. In a bowl, mix together the icing ingredients.
8. Put in the microwave for 1 to 2 minutes until the mixture is smooth.
9. Pour the hot icing over the hot crunchies to cover their entire surface.
10. Cut into squares when cool.

Jan16

Carlos Santana – Over The Hump Old School Sound Check

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Happy Thursday everyone and welcome to “Over The Hump Old School Sound Check” for the week!!!

Carlos Santana is a Mexican American musician who first became famous in the late 1960s and early 1970s with his band, Santana, which pioneered a fusion of rock and Latin American music. The band’s sound featured his melodic, blues-based guitar lines set against Latin and African rhythms featuring percussion instruments such as timbales and congas not generally heard in rock music. Santana continued to work in these forms over the following decades. He experienced a resurgence of popularity and critical acclaim in the late 1990s. In 2003 Rolling Stone magazine listed Santana at number 20 on their list of the 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time.

“While My Guitar Gently Weeps” is a song written by George Harrison, first recorded by the Beatles in 1968 for their eponymous double album (also known as The White Album). The song features a lead guitar solo by Eric Clapton, though uncredited on the record. Credit: Wikipedia

I love how Santana has continued to evolve by collaborating with other amazing musicians and singers. Here he performs with one of my favorite artists, India Arie.

Jan15

The World As Chocolate -Nanaimo Bars Recipe

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These chocolate bars are great for entertaining and can be prepared days before your event.

Nanaimo (pronounced nah-NIGH-moe) Bars are a traditional Canadian bar cookie whose origins are said to be from Nanaimo, British Columbia.

NanaimoBar2

Cuisine: British Columbia
Yields: 1 (8-inch by 8-inch) pan
Prep time: 30 min

Bottom Layer – Crust Base:
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1/4 cup granulated sugar
5 tablespoons unsweetened unsweetened cocoa
1 1/4 cups graham cracker/wafer crumbs
1/2 cup finely-chopped almonds or pecans
1 cup sweetened coconut flakes

Custard Filling – Second Layer:
1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons heavy cream
2 tablespoons vanilla custard powder (Bird’s Custard Powder is preferred)*
2 cups powdered (confectioners’ sugar)

* Bird’s Custard Powder is widely available in the UK and Canada. However, it is harder to find in other areas of the world. If you are unable to find it, you could substitute instant vanilla pudding or corn starch. It’s not quite the same, but it is a good substitute.

Chocolate Topping – Top Layer:
4 squares (1 ounce each) semi-sweet chocolate or 4 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 tablespoons unsalted butter

Preparation of Nanaimo Bars:

Line a 8-inch by 8-inch square baking dish or pan with either plastic wrap or aluminum foil. The original recipe does not call for lining the pan, but believe me, this makes for a must neater and easier removal of the finished bars.

Bottom Layer – Crust Base:

Place the beaten egg in a small bowl; set aside.

In a heavy saucepan over low heat, melt the butter, sugar, and cocoa. Whisk a small amount of the hot melted mixture into the egg. Return the egg mixture to the pan, whisking constantly. Cook and stir until mixture reaches 160 degrees F. on your cooking thermometer and begins to thicken. Remove from heat.

Stir in the graham cracker crumbs, almond or pecans, and coconut. Press the cracker mixture firmly into the prepared baking dish or pan. Set aside.

Custard Filling – Second Layer:

In a large bowl of your electric mixer, cream together the butter, cream, custard powder, and powdered sugar until well blended. Spread over the Crust Base. Refrigerate at least 15 minutes or until set.

Chocolate Topping – Top Layer:

In a large saucepan over low heat, melt together the chocolate and butter. Remove from heat and pour the chocolate mixture over the chilled Custard Filling. Refrigerator at least 1 hour or until set.

Nanaimo Bars may be stored in the refrigerator, covered up to 1 month.

Served chilled.

Jan14

Situational Leadership

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If you are a leader are a manager, you’ve been there. The pressure is on and someone has to ensure productivity. You need to exhibit calm under pressure. Leaders should adopt some proven skills to succeed in the midst of a storm.

Leading In the Storm
Reposted: Personal Advice from Ken Blanchard

Have a positive attitude. Don’t be negative. Your actions can create a positive morale amongst the team. This will be contagious and you will get more out of your team. Try to make your staff believe things are better than they seem, even when the pressure is on. The worst thing you can do is to badmouth any person or department within the company. You can kind of joke about company related issues, but in a lighthearted way. Sometimes a good laugh or feeling of solidarity can work to your benefit, just don’t be malicious or slanderous. It could also come back to haunt you. You would be surprised at the loss of respect you would receive if you acted unprofessionally in this manner. Remember this old adage, “It takes years to build respect, and only seconds to lose it…”

Be passionate about the objectives and organization. When you become passionate about a task, project, or departmental goal, your team will also become passionate. Channel your passion to be the best into your employees. Passion is the key ingredient between being good and being great. You want your department to be exceptional, not just good enough. Be passionate about becoming a world-class organization and your team is sure to follow.

Be enthusiastic and optimistic. Striving for a better future with an energetic drive is contagious. Your team will pick up on the same vibe. They want a better future just as much as you do. Your job is to make them want to be the best and take pride in their work. The more enthusiastic and optimistic you are, the more they can identify with working in a success driven manner.